Happy Feet

Welp, I already failed at updating this again somewhat regularly. But basically, the month of February didn’t exist — I worked the NAACP Image Awards, Grammys, Oscars and Kids’ Choice Awards in March. And thus was my stint in the awards show circuit.

The Grammys was actually quite lovely. I was Walkie PA for the first time and I was worried because I had never been THE Walkie PA. And when I get there, I come to learn that I’m responsible for almost 400 walkies, which is a butt-ton of money for me to lose. But hey! I didn’t lose anything! Which hasn’t happened at the Grammys for a few years now so, yay me. My favorite moment will be as I sat in my little utility closet/expendable room and listened to Adele rehearse her performance. I will probably never see her perform but this free and loose performance was absolutely lovely.

I’ve been vying to work for the Oscars for some time now and I had met a few PAs back in November that regularly work it and I suddenly found myself getting a flood of emails for credentials and background checks. Other than it being a high-profile show, it was pretty mellow and normal — nothing too special to report other than an interesting pseudo run-in with a celebrity.

But the real news: I HAVE AN ANIMATION JOB.

I work for a stop-motion animation studio and I’m so freaking jazzed, I have to pause once in a while and remind myself that I finally landed an animation job. It took me about 2 years, 8 months, 2 weeks and 4 days since the day I decided to work in animation to actually land the job. That’s about 50 animation-related job applications (about 27 of those since October) and five interviews. It was a lot of agony, anxiety and so many damn cover letters.

Figures that I got this job by reference that required no cover letter.

I’m a PA/runner right now, so I don’t work on a specific show but I work with the entire company and its departments. I’ve been able to take a peek at the puppets in storage and am helping rearrange the sets and props area, but I get too distracted by looking at the beautiful mountain of fabricated tacos to be quick about it.

While I may be floating on cloud nine, I also feel like I’m just floating. I had been gunning for this for so long and hard, it’s like I’m a spaceship that was rocketing towards outer space, struggling against the resistance of the atmosphere that when I finally broke through, the lack of friction is confusing. The rational side of my brain knows that this feeling is temporary and soon, I’ll be charting a course for the rest of my career.

AND THAT’S ANOTHER QUESTION. Where TO go? I’ve been aiming for production or storyboarding (more set on storyboarding) because I thought I’d land in a traditional 2D/3D animation house. My company was one of those “It’d be so cool if…” places because stop-motion is a blend of live-action and animation and it struck me that this would be the perfect way of breaking in. But, I never expected to actually get to this specific spot ‘cuz that doesn’t happen, right? But here I am and I could… sew! Build puppets! Build sets! Go into production! I could take a storyboard test! I COULD LITERALLY DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

So, bear with me as I settle into my new company. I still promise to try to post useful things here. But who knows.. maybe this will be the end. Or it’ll morph into an animation blog. Who knows.

Dreams come true, but also the dream is just beginning, you guys.

Back to the Future

TL;DR
I worked a lot. I’m not working now. I still want to work in animation. It’s 2016.
I’m gonna try to bring this blog back a bit by writing more helpful posts about the film industry. I owe someone a post about 1099s and freelancing from 2013 and it’s haunted me ever since.

•••••

Whoa, hi.

I was a lucky lady in 2015 and managed to pull off constant work from March to the beginning of October, thus the radio silence on this here blog.

I landed on another Nat Geo show called, “Breakthrough,” in the office from June to October and it was a fun job. The crew was great and I was able do more than I usually do as an office PA than other jobs so I felt all fancy and grown up. There was a point where my UPM and coordinator were out on shoots and it was up to me to coordinate a shoot with a producer. I loved being able to figure out what I needed to do, and deciding for myself when and where to go to do it all.

Since then it’s just been day playing on a game show and for a company that does production and management for YouTubers with being a background extra again. I don’t have much prospects for future jobs, but I’ll admit I’m not really trying. I want so much to have a steady job and not be unemployed every other month. And the idea of continuing on in live action as a coordinator or an AD doesn’t appeal to me at all so… things are limited. I’m still up for art department but even then that’ll land me back at the altar of the EDD (unemployment department).

I’m still gunning hard for animation and I had a few interviews this past summer so at least I made a little bit of headway. Go me.

But I’m feeling that my time in live action is limited. I know for a fact I can’t be a freelancer my entire life — I don’t want to give up all that I want for my life for just one aspect. I don’t know when I’ll stop, and the idea of getting another day job and saying no to future PA gigs is terrifying. If I do get a day job, it’ll be within the industry still. Being a studio tour guide sounds like a good deal, and some studios combine that with a page program and allow you to go somewhere else in the studio when you’ve spent a year or so as a page. Maybe I can get myself into a prop shop or costume warehouse. Who knows! There are still options, but animation is still number one.

But it’s a week into 2016 and you’re supposed to have resolutions n’ stuff, right?

• Be more confident.
It’s something I’ve struggled with all my life. I didn’t grow up in a household where I was encouraged or praised, and was told constantly not to talk back or voice my opinions. One of the ways I’m gonna do this is to learn how to haggle in Chinatown and downtown LA. I’m absolutely terrified and terrible at haggling, but I figure if I can get a rude vendor to agree to a price on a product, I figure I can take over the world.

• Have more discipline.
Mostly this is about sticking to a creative schedule and learning. I’ve got myself a Lynda account and am enrolled in an online art school, both of which I have yet to take any classes. I want to get back to drawing every day and I’d love to learn something new every week or so and have my skills and perspectives grow.

• Seek self-fulfillment.
I need to take my hobbies seriously. I love to draw, it makes me so happy. I love to sew, it makes me feel like a wizard. I want to paint, I want to sculpt, I want to carve, I want to create so many things and I need to use these desires as fuel for myself. I’ve had enough time not enjoying myself since graduation, that it’s time to focus on myself outside of the jobs that pay the bills.

• Take less bullshit.
Whether it’s putting up with it or dishing it out myself, it’s too tiring to have it in my life.

• Try to make this blog helpful again.
Well, if it’s needed. I feel like there’s a lot of resources out there besides this blog about filmmaking, but I created this mostly for those who attend/ed my alma mater so I’ll be catering more to them. Almost three years ago someone asked about freelancing and 1099s and I still have yet to write anything substantial on it. Oops.

There Will Be Blood

Hurr, I totally forgot what I was gonna rant about as mentioned in the last post ‘cuuuuuz I had about five gigs since then. WOO.

In March, I got back into game show production with some of my old coordinators. Luckily, it was a huge job so literally all but one of my coordinators was on that show, so it was a way to kill four birds with one stone and say “Hey! I’m back!” The show went well, as it always does with this group of folk. I was the control room PA, which means I just sit in the control room and act as production liaison to the producers. Good job, good people, I got to watch the show as it happened, it was good times.

The gig after that was being an art director for a short film. I mean, awesome! I get to be an art director, it’s a short, and they’re above the current PA rate. Buuuuut… it was not a fun experience. I had major issues with the schedule and the director. The good thing that came out of it was that it paid for an on-set art kit, which is basically a butt-ton of colored gaff tape, spray paints and markers. I’m really excited to expand it.

Third gig was being an art PA for a commercial. It was super fast-paced but luckily, the art director gig I had was also super super fast paced and I was still wound up from it. It zoomed by quickly, I learned how to pronounce “ranunculus,” and set was only 15 minutes from my house. Hoo hoo!

Fourth gig was sewing together some costumes for my friend Sam’s project. I kind of got cocky and bit off more than I could chew, but everything looked great on camera. It was a great way to unwind from two hectic shoots.

And the fifth and last gig… hoooo. It was the coveted scripted show. Whoooaaaa. AND it was a comedy to boot. I got assigned to be the talent PA, also known as First Team PA, on bigger shows it would be the 2nd 2nd AD (kind of… it’d involve more paperwork though). My job would be to stick with the actors. A little bit of go-fer, but mostly moving them through fittings, getting dressed, hair, make up and getting them to set on time. To put it simply, it was kind of like playing the Sims, with their free will pushed up to 12,000%.

And guys, I’ll confess: I fucking sucked at it.

This job kicked my ass. Not in just a, “Phew! That sure was tough but by golly, we done good.” It was a “Holy shit holy shit holy shit WHAT IS GOING ON OMFG WHERE DID HE GO we’re running late whoa that wig looks amazing OH FUCK SWITCHING TO TWO FIFTEEN MINUTES, I SWEAR.” It’s amazing how I wasn’t fired. Honestly. I’ve never run first team before. On one show, I was told I could invite Morgan Freeman to set once because I was standing near him, but I chickened out. But yeah, okay. Let me be responsible for sometimes 20 people in a day. Suuuuure why not.

According to my pedometer, I walked/ran/paced/panicked about 13 miles a day. I got yelled at by multiple departments. I got so so many dirty looks. Talked about behind my back. Every day, I was someone’s bad guy. Every day, I came home defeated and broken. Knowing that I would wake up at 4:30am, drive an hour to set and slog through a day of exasperated sighs, last minute bathroom breaks, people talking in my ear, and that shrug people do when they’re asking, “Seriously, what the fuck?” all for less than a dollar over minimum wage (for those who are motivated by the money). The stress of it all got me so wound up that one night, when my boyfriend was making dinner and told me it’d be ready in two minutes, I had a physical reaction. My heart rate went up, my muscles seized and my breath quickened. I answered my walkie in my sleep and I would wake up at the slightest sound and ask my boyfriend if an actor had signed out yet.

I really struggled to find the balance between being a schedule Nazi, and trying to be empathetic to the artists’ work. Because they were all artists. Wardrobe, hair, make up, the actors themselves, they all wanted their craft to be respected, and to be done well. I can totally understand that. If an actor went in front of the camera without a piece of jewelry or a headpiece that was specifically rented for that character, that sucks and that’s money wasted. If an actor goes out with a half-glued beard, or unpinned hair, it’ll look terrible. One of those, “You had ONE job,” kind of things. Each department is responsible for their one thing, and if I don’t let them do it, they’re gonna be upset. No one but them (and well, the EPs) can say when it’s good enough. That’s why they were hired.

I would be asked by production for an ETA, I’d ask all the departments, and I’d report. Production would probably ask “are they done yet?” and if it was before the ETA I gave, I’d say so. If it’d go on longer, I’d have to say so. I was a parrot. There were some times when the AD or an EP would have to come in and stare at the artists while they worked, and they hate that. That’s when you know you’re in trouble.

What’s funny is, it wasn’t until the second to last day, which was the absolute worst day ever for reasons I’ll recount over a drink, that I learned the key to it all:

Don’t ask for an ETA, give them the ETA.

I was asked to get an ETA, so I would get it. What I should have done, from the very damn beginning, was to give vanities* an ETA. Rather than having them tell me it’ll be about 20 minutes, I have to tell them “We have 15 minutes.” So then they can tell me if what they got approved by the EPs is feasible or not, or if they can improvise. I didn’t know I could do that. Was I allowed to do that? My title still has “PA” in it, that means I don’t have power… right? No, it’s not that telling someone they have fifteen minutes was me telling them get the job done now, it was me letting them know that production is gonna be ready for an actor in fifteen. I am a catalyst. The go-between. The liaison. It’s such a simple solution that came to me from our wonderful magical Hair Magician, after I had spent the lunch hour just sitting behind the wardrobe trailer, hiding from everyone.

There are so many gory details. But I knew towards the end that this ass whooping was gonna be good for me. I know I can get a big ego, and that I had been doing well as just a regular ol’ set or office PA, so this knocked me down a peg or two (but really, knocked me down to the concrete). I’m did something new, and my skin is gonna be a little bit tougher once these battle wounds heal. I’m still roughed up, I’m still trying to wind down, but I wasn’t fired. Maybe it’s because the AD team was from NYC so they didn’t have any other PAs, maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion on my end, who knows. I’m just gonna avoid being a first team PA again for as long as I can.

*Hair and make up is typically known as vanities. Some prefer “glamor.” Also, when someone is “in the works,” that means they’re currently sitting in a hair or make up chair.

Spring Awakening

Two weeks ago, my college brought the students from the Professional Development course I had helped create out to LA for spring break (!!!). We had a mixer on Monday, where I was a dweeb and had to flit around and insert myself into conversations and seem like I have my life together. Thursday was a dinner with a just a small handful of alumni and the students and we all got to know each other. They had good questions, good plans and good heads on their shoulders. I’m really, truly impressed with this bunch. Almost all of them were very motivated, were sure of what they wanted and made my immediate graduation groups seems like flailing piglets. Also, I got unreasonably attached to them and want them all to come to LA as soon as they get that diploma in their hands.

With how rough my introduction into the industry has been, talking to the students gave me some perspective. An alumnus with a few years on me and is a working DP agreed with me on my talking points, which kind of validated my experiences and philosophies. Like it was a mile marker saying, “Hey, you’re on the right path.” And just being able to tell the students about my horror stories, things I’ve done and learned helped me to see how far I’ve come. Yeah, I may not be steadily working as a PA, (though, I am right now. Wee!) I’ve still been through a few things.

A small update, I don’t think I’ll be going back to the old once-a-month schedule, but I’ll have a rant soon, once I have some time to reflect on it. Grr.

The Fall

Sorry for the silence. Things got a little gnarly at the end of September and I spent October getting back into normalcy. Big decisions were made, then undone, redone or put on the back burner. Harrowing things happened, harrowing things are going to happen and 2015 is going to be interesting. I’m steeling myself for a bit of hardship and any positive vibes will be appreciated.

So I’ve been toying with the idea of discontinuing this blog, or at least on my somewhat-regular basis. All of the instructors at my alma mater that promoted this blog are no longer teaching there and there’s only a handful of super seniors (no shame! I was one too!) left there that know who I am, and I don’t think any of them are in film.

This blog was born from the idea that I was fresh and new to the industry, that I could document my attempts to break into Hollywood in real time. The other industry blogs I read were by people who broke in years ago, back in fax machines were used instead of email and MySpace was still a thing. But it’s been over three years now. I’ve been around the block a little, I’m hardly green any more and to put it plainly: I don’t have much to say. I don’t feel like I’ve gotten very far in my career so unless I hop onto a big scripted show, I don’t anticipate on having a bunch of stuff to write about. And the things I do have to say, you could have found if you Google hard enough. That’s how I learned 98% of the things I learned about filmmaking and now animation.

Maybe this ennui-like thing was born from the fact that I’ve been at the same job since February. And not only is it the same job, it’s a really boring job that I have nothing to report on. A job that makes me feel so far from the heartbeat of the industry that earlier this spring I had grown complacent and quite depressed. It got better with an amazing summer of friends and the RHR project, a fall that went back to being very quiet and now an adventurous winter: I’m being downsized.

My last day will be one week before Thanksgiving. Conveniently, I have an animation convention to attend (CTNX14!) to help ease me back into filing for unemployment and wayward schedule of being an extra again. But the folks at work are being awesome and offering to pass my resume around, and some folks are well acquainted in the animation world so maybe this is the kick in the butt I needed and dive into the deep end.

Except for the one big harrowing thing in 2015 (yay for vague!), I’m kind of excited. I’m gonna have so much time to really dig into animation now and I’ll be able to read, watch, draw and paint. The week before I got this job, I bought myself a gouache starter set to play with with and I haven’t been able to touch it since. I haven’t even read a book. It’s like the past nine months have been a hiatus in my full-time personal growth. I’m sad to be losing a reliable and hefty paycheck but that’s all that this job was to me.

What’s funny is that the first week I got this job, I worked a few days on a show and the week after I finish this job, I’ll be working a few days on the same show. And I’ll (hopefully) be an extra again. So I’m practically picking up where I left off. I feel strange more than anything, that my life is going back almost the exact way it was this time last year.

I’m okay. I’m hopeful.

Red Heart Rebels: Pre-Production

Let’s make Red Heart Rebels blog posts a three-part series. First up: Pre-production

**I’d like to preface this by saying that there are a bunch of ways to handle a production and the way I’m presenting how I work may not be the “right” way for you and your team. Each production handles itself a little differently and I’ve adapted my pipeline from my own experiences.

How I got involved

It was a beautiful night in early May and I was in line to hop onto a trampoline arena to play dodgeball (because that’s how these things happen, you know) and Ethan, essentially the showrunner whom I had only met once before, asked me if I wanted to act in his web series, Red Heart Rebels. Without even hesitating, I said yes. No audition for me, suckaaaaz.

Over the next few weeks, he and his co-EP, Andrew, started texting and messaging me with various questions about production and offered to let me read the scripts and Ethan opened himself up to notes. After about a week of back and forth, I was asked if I just wanted to hop onto the team, since I wouldn’t shut up about how to do things. I know after last year and Les MiseraBaristas, I swore I wouldn’t jump onto a production while I had a full-time job but I loved the idea of being on a project again and I loved the story. I needed some excitement in my life where my work life is mundane and isolating, so I agreed.
And that’s where the fun began.

ORGANIZATION
Overall for the project, I crowned myself unit production manager because I like knowing everything that’s happening and I’m generally OCD about how things are organized. A UPM is someone who manages the whole production. The ADs report to the UPM, the UPM works with the line producer (money person) and the other producers to make things happen on budget and on time. The UPM and line producer sit at the top of the below-the-line folk.
I was invited to the Google Drive and its two tiny folders. One for scripts and one for a preliminary pre-production schedule. Anyone who’s worked with me knows I pretty much command how things are organized. So the Drive ballooned into this:

GoogleDrive

 
This, to me, is the most easily digestible way of handling a lot of information. Breaking things up into departments and having sub-folders if necessary. And spreadsheets are KING in my digital production binders. They’re so flexible and they allow you to organize everything very (very very very) neatly on the page, make templates and generally, make miracles happen that would take forever in a word document.

After organizing the Drive, came the Calendar:
Calendar
Forgive the lightness; it lightens the events that’ve passed.
Every department and executive team member had a color assigned to them so we can see when things had to be done. Things moved around as our availabilities changed, and I always like to give things early deadlines so that we have some wiggle room to refine and edit them (this came from my time on the student magazine).

This worked in tandem with a to-do list you can see on the screen grab of the Drive that broke down what everyone was responsible for, including what all three of us had to do, and when they should be done. It had some things that weren’t on the calendar, like break downs, list-making, etc.
BUDGET
We first started out with producing all six episodes, which itself would be a handsome sum of money. But at the time, the story was set in the desert. Which meant housing, transportation and adequate shelter. Which is another, even handsomer sum of money. Ethan wanted this to be made as legal and legitimately as possible and he was after SAG-AFTRA actors. This meant getting film permits, California Highway Patrol officers, insurance and becoming a SAG-AFTRA signatory project.

To break down the budget, you should do scene break downs: you go through the script(s) 5,000 times (exaggerating) and highlight props, set dec, wardrobe, locations, people, etc. From that I was able to pull a shopping list for art departments and was able to get a vague idea of a schedule, which would translate to how many days we needed to rent equipment, how much to pay people, permit fees and location fees. It… was a very large number. Too large of a number. A number so large that I couldn’t fathom spending it all and I was starting to work a line producer into the budget.

Knowing the likelihood of getting that number was pretty much zilch, Andrew and I ended up talking to Ethan about focusing on just the pilot. Our reasoning was that no matter how much money the IndieGoGo would make, it would all towards just one episode and not be spread so thin across all the episodes, that it ends up looking like crap.

Before we set out to film the teaser trailer to accompany our IndieGoGo campaign, we had to plot out what we would offer as perks. Just some days spent shopping around at promo item companies online and locally and pricing things out. What was tricky was estimating and hoping that enough people would select a perk item that would net us a profit.

Now here comes a nugget of wisdom: do NOT think that perks are what will get people to donate in the first place. No no no. Perks are NOT incentives. They are thank you’s. No one will see that you’re offering a $10 shot glass and say, “Golly! I really want a shot glass! How convenient that this IndieGoGo is offering them.” Perks may entice people to donate more than they were planning to, but they won’t draw them in. Keep it simple.

Once we had our budget in place and our rewards tiers set, we filmed the teaser on a surprisingly breezy and not-too-hot afternoon in the desert near Palmdale. Edited that thing and the IndieGoGo went live.

We asked for $16,000. That’s still a big number. That number came from buying everything, renting equipment, renting shelter and porta-potties, paying for insurance, film permits, California Highway Patrol, housing, food, industry-standard rates for crew and a very decent wage for the actors. And I knew it wasn’t gonna happen. But I put it up because I was clinging to a little blip of hope that maybe, just maybe, we’d get a lot more money than I knew we were going to make.

The thing about IndieGoGo and Kickstarter is that they work wonderfully for people who have a large following or is so buzz-worthy that it can grab media outlets and get the buzz. We were not that. We were just another small indie film/tv project, one of hundreds if not thousands trying to grub some money.

So as the campaign went live and the money didn’t roll in as I think Ethan was hoping for, he re-wrote the pilot to have a much smaller budget. A just in case. So we had two scripts: one for $16,000, one for $1,600. As they days went on, we agreed to focus solely on the smaller pilot, which Ethan has said he actually likes a lot better than the big budget pilot.

We closed out at just over $1,800.
PERMITS, SIGNATORIES, INSURANCE, ETC.
Because I did a majority of the work while I was at my day job (when it was slow, of course), SAG-AFTRA stuff was given to Ethan and film permits to Andrew.

The wondrous beauty of being a new media production (basically, anything having to do with the web) is that the platform is so new, no one really knows what to do with it yet. We qualified as a new media production which means we could hire SAG-AFTRA actors, those who are eligible for SAG-AFTRA don’t have to join the union*, and those who aren’t eligible, have been Taft-Hartley’d** into it, and the amount we have to pay the actors isn’t on the usual theatrical scale (which is very large).

*When someone is eligible to join the union, in order to work on a union show, they’d have to join first.
**This means they automatically become SAG-AFTRA eligible, which is a big deal if you’re an actor.

From what Ethan has told me, the folks at SAG-AFTRA are very helpful and nice. They required us to pay our principal actors minimum wage, and extras are on deferred payment. Of the money paid to the principals, 6.8% of that goes to SAG-AFTRA for health plans n’ stuff.

As for permits, Film LA was also readily available to answer questions and walks us through the process. Because we approached them while we were still planning on shooting on the side of a road in the desert, that required us to have a California Highway Patrol officer with us, and that s/he as going to be paid almost $1,000 a day. And in addition to fees due to Film LA which didn’t include location fees, it was very obvious that this would be the most expensive item in our budget.

Insurance was kind of straight forward. Found a company, wanted to be liable for $1 million (as standard) including $500,000 for equipment, and was quoted about $750. When you have insurance, locations and rental companies will ask for a certificate, at which you can give them a copy of your certificate of liability that says what you’re covered for. Some rental companies will let you rent without a certificate (or, “cert”) but will charge you a ginormous deposit/waiver fee.

OTHER STUFF
Casting, the wee bits of art direction and such I feel are pretty self explanatory. But if you, dear reader, made it this far and actually want to know how we did the fun pre-pro stuff like casting, the wee bit of art direction, location scouting, etc., let me know.

I think that’s all for pre-pro on my end. Next up: production.

GUEST POST: Extra Notes for Extras

This blog is getting so fancy, that it’s getting guest posts.

This post comes from my friend Liz, who had the fun of wrangling extras recently. I wrote a post earlier about my experiences of being an extra, but now we get the other side’s perspective. Besides this little intro blurb, this is all Liz, so don’t fear that I spun anything.

How To Be An Extra That People Will Love to Work With: The Do’s and Don’ts of Background Work

Recently I was able to briefly break free of the yoke of reality television and day-play as a production assistant on a narrative project. This was something I hadn’t done in a few months, and I was unbelievably excited. To get to work on a feature again! My luck was looking up. But by the end of the day I was just as stressed as I sometimes find myself on the most hectic of reality days. And I can directly pinpoint the cause: the background artists I was wrangling. I suffered about a thousand headaches at the hands of these people, and throughout my entire 14-hour day, I just kept thinking if only I could give these people a list of what to do and what not to do on set. It would make my life so much easier.

As those of you who live in Los Angeles may know, whether you’re trying to break into the industry in front of the camera or behind it, background work can help you make ends meet while simultaneously providing you with invaluable knowledge and on-set experience. Basically, you can get paid to stand around and watch movies and TV shows get made. And sometimes all while wearing cool costumes. Sweet gig. But here are some tips from the person who is your immediate supervisor on set. I know I’m just a PA or 2nd 2nd, but I’m in charge of you and making sure you’re always where you’re supposed to be and doing what you’re supposed to be doing. So help me help you by following these simples tips:

• DO listen and pay attention. ALWAYS. ALWAYS LISTEN. ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION. Days can be long and boring, it kind of goes with the job. But even if you’re on your 12th hour, I still need to you to be constantly vigilant for when I have instructions for you. Chances are, I’ve got the 1st AD screaming in my ear that he needs 10 background YESTERDAY, and if you slow me down because you were busy listening to Iggy Azalea on your iPod, I’m going to get angry at you.

This rule applies when off set, but more importantly when on set. On this last job I had, we had placed about 20 background in a scene. The 1st AD gave very specific instructions to the background people, “You can walk here and here, but do NOT walk in front of this light.” Guess what happened? Someone walked in front of the light. We had to do the scene again. Again the AD said, “See this light? Do not walk in front of it.” Again, someone walked in front of it. We had to do the scene again. And again, and again, and again. When this happens, my time is being wasted, the whole crew’s time is being wasted, and your time is being wasted. You save so much hassle and stress for yourself and others when you just open your ears and listen to what’s being said to you. If you see me coming towards you calling out instructions and you can’t hear what I’m saying, get closer. Don’t just sit there and ask me later to repeat myself. And one more thing: You and I both know this is a hurry up and wait kind of industry. It’s dumb, but that’s the nature of the business. So sometimes I come by and give you a five minute warning to be ready to go to set, but it actually ends up taking about an hour. I’m as frustrated as you when that happens. Regardless, when I give you a five minute warning, you still need to be ready to go in 5 minutes, because on that rare occasion when I can really walk you in time, I can’t have you shuffling for another 30 seconds packing your book and your computer and your phone and your other junk back into your purse. You should have done that five minutes ago.

• DON’T wander off. Yeah, you’re human. You need to snack sometimes. You need to use the restroom occasionally. Sometimes your legs fall asleep and you need to walk it off. I get it. I understand. But you have to let me know. I’m fine if you come up to me and ask “Do I have time to use the restroom?” Chances are I’ll say “Of course! Thanks!” but PLEASE don’t leave me in the position of only being able to send the 1st AD twelve background when he’s asking for twenty because you wandered off to see if there’s a Starbucks close by. On this most recent project, I had something happen to me that, quite honestly, happens so much and I hate it. A good portion of the background wandered off somewhere. I came by to pull about twenty people for the scene because the AD asked for twenty. But when the people who had wandered off came back and saw a group of people heading to set, they tagged along, thinking I was taking everybody. Now I’ve got 35 background who have no idea what they’re doing. Or worse, I end up with even more than that.

Finally, do NOT, repeat, do NOT wander onto set with an escort. This is for your safety, I promise you. Between scenes there are people rigging heavy lights and flags and frames and other stuff. If you’re wandering around, you could hurt yourself or someone else. You could get in someone’s way. You could damage some piece of the set or the gear. That’s the fastest way to get fired.

• DON’T come up to me asking a bunch of questions. There are two reasons this is a bad thing to do. One, most likely I’ve got someone talking in my ear over the walkie, giving me instructions that I need to be paying attention to. Two, more often than not, I don’t know the answer to the question you’re asking anyway. I don’t know how much longer you’re gonna be here. Yes, it’s true I have a call sheet and I know how many scenes we have left to shoot, but I don’t know how long each scene is going to take. I don’t know who to talk to about getting extra SAG vouchers for you. I don’t know if you’re being paid by the hour, or if you’ll be getting overtime. I don’t know if you’re being paid cash or a check, and I don’t know who is sending that check to you, and I don’t know when it’s going to come.

On this last project, this was the biggest problem I encountered and it made me want to rip my hair out. In the morning, we were expecting 50 background at 8am. About only 22 showed up, which resulted in production rush-calling twenty more. Apparently these rush-call background people were told they’d only be working four hours, but it ended up being more than eight because the production was running behind. Needless to say, these poor background were a little frustrated and very much wanted to go home. I had about ten people every hour come up to me asking me if I knew when they’d be wrapped. I tried my best to be polite, but after the twentieth person asked me, I got a little short with them. True, my frustration was compounded by the fact that were we filming at a real functioning dance conference, and I was also being bombarded by regular conference goers asking me where to go for this and that, and asking when this was supposed to happen, and when this person was performing. Also, it was my very first day on this production working with this crew, so I didn’t know who anyone was or anyone’s name. But the thing to take from this as an extra is that the person giving you directions is most likely a PA or 2nd 2nd. If you know anything about the hierarchy of a film crew, you know those people fall pretty low on the totem pole. As such, the call sheet is likely their only source of information. So in order for them to find out how you’re going to be paid, they’d have to walkie someone higher up to ask, but the people I’d need to ask are just as busy as I am, and don’t want to be bothered. So while the questions you’re asking are (usually) valid and important, unfortunately I still cannot help you. I’m sorry.

• DO be on time. If you live in LA, traffic is a fact of life, and I will not accept that excuse because you should have factored traffic into your commute and left earlier.

• DO bring costume options. A lot of times, if we don’t have enough background, we’ll reuse the ones we have in different shots, but for continuity purposes, it helps immensely if you have a different shirt or jacket. Because the person in the red shirt can’t be here and over there at the same time, but it’s okay if the person in the red shirt it here and the person in the blue shirt is over there. Did that make sense? Anyway, yeah.

• DO silence your phone. Duh. Come on.

• DO NOT walk around the set taking photos and video. Yeah, it’s cool, I get it, you want to remember this experience forever. But I can and will ask you to leave if I see you doing it. So just don’t do it. It’s kind of a no-brainer, isn’t it?

So there. That’s my slightly hostile list for how to behave on set as background. It’s just like any other job, in that to be good at it, you have to be alert, on your game, and pay attention. And if you make a good impression on the people you’re working for, who knows what opportunities might come your way? So get out there, mighty extra, and fill up that scene like the beast that you are.

The Crying Game

For anyone (anyone? anyone?) who was checking back on the blog during July looking for that post on how I PM these micro-no budget things, sorry I goobered. But for a good reason!

I was hired on to be an Art PA on a digital series for AwesomnessTV/Dreamworks for the last two weeks of July. “Digital series” is apparently what they call a web series when it has a bunch of money behind it. Or a studio. Or something. Whatever.

My day job was very understanding in letting me go for two weeks to pursue a department that I genuinely love. I was terrified to tell my superiors and my Big Boss but she literally said, “Go, Ashley. Go follow your dreams.” Another person whispered to me, “Don’t let this place hold you back,” which almost made me tear up. Another whispered “good luck.”

I was so happy to be spending my days literally on the stage floor making set dec pieces and props. I made fun posters and construction paper scenes as if I were in an elementary school, made science project presentations, decorated set and felt like I was doing what I came here to do: make TV and films. And what’s even better is that you’ll actually be able to see the things that I MADE. As in that was MY handiwork, that is MY prop/set dec, MY work is directly on screen. So much more than being an extra. That’s just kind of like photo-bombing. I’m so freakin’ excited to watch the show and see my work up there. I may cry.

There’s not too many details I can divulge without violating my NDA (non-disclosure agreement). Just a lot of paint, spray glue and bubble wrap. So much bubble wrap.
The heartbreak comes with me not being able to jump back on for their back eight*, which started this week. It’ll take five weeks to film and for that, I’d have to leave my day job. I was seriously considering it because omfg ART DEPARTMENT. I loved everyone I was working with, I loved that I spent my days basically crafting but I decided I needed to stay with the day job. It’s a steady job that will go far beyond the five weeks, and I get paid just about the same. At my day job I get to work on my own projects when it’s slow, and it allows me to live a sane life. For the two weeks I was on set, I would literally wake up, drive the hour it took to get to set, work for 13 hours (one hour unpaid lunch) and make the hour trek back home, shower, catch up with emails and social media for an hour and sleep. It was dangerous — I was falling asleep on the road. It was exhausting — spray painting a prop in 114-degree weather, climbing shelves to move furniture, knives and tools, etc. Exhausting, exhausting work but it made me so happy.
So, my goal is to stick it out at my day job for as long as I have to, save up money to buy my own camera with some accessories to put towards a money-making scheme I have going and focus on getting into animation. If I can find a show that’ll take me on for a full 8-month season, I’ll jump right on it. And I don’t want to have to deal with filing for unemployment again.
It doesn’t help that I’m still getting the scripts and call sheets from them though.

*”Back eight” refers to the last eight episodes of a season. Usually shows are approved for their first 12-14 episodes and if they do well, the network will order their last eight episodes to finish out the season. That’s why shows like Firefly only have a curious 14 episodes.

Earnest Goes to Hollywood

Ahh, June. I don’t like summer, but I like June. In my head, June is a very cheery yellow, it’s the beginning of what is generally a fun season (in the sense that it’s vacation time), it’s my birthday month and it’s just a very fun name for a month. Or a name in general.

To expand upon the little note at the end of last month’s very depressing blog post, life has turned a complete 180:
1) We just show our IndieGoGo video for the web series and we should be ready to launch the campaign at the beginning of July for a mid- to late-August shoot for the pilot. Right now I’m production managing and will be moving on to co-directing for the pilot.

2) I’m taking two drawing classes right now. One is a gesture class at the Animation Guild and the other is a dynamic sketching class at Concept Design Academy. The sketching class is kicking my ass and it’s making me realize a lot about myself as a visual artist. To be expanded upon in my art blog at a future point.

3) I’m trying to get three short screenplays written, have concept designs and storyboards for a portfolio I want to have completed before October for the animation convention. I’ve got one story that’s going through edits and I’ve got two others I can probably start on next month.

4) And that pesky full-time job that’s no where near where I want to be. But, it’s gotten a lot more tolerable now that I have everything else in my life. Life outside of work is so much more enjoyable that it makes the 40-hours a week grind more okay. When I’m trying to get bids from vendors or hunting down invoices, I’ve got ideas percolating in my head.

So, a friend told me that when a good friend and former instructor at my alma mater suggest his students to look at my blog, someone said, “But it only talks about how much she’s not working.”
And it’s true. There are very long spells where I’m not working and I let it all out here because that is the reality of my situation, and for thousands of other young, up-and-coming professionals in this industry. There are times when I let it get to me, where I would be a brat and say that it’s not possible for me to make my own work because I depend on others as a PM/AD for work. But I’ve seen the light and while I’m in a happy-go-lucky mood, I want to tell the newest crop of graduates a little somethin’:

You have to work hard.

I know a handful of people who were able to land amazing jobs right out of college, or were able to finally get an awesome job after a year or two out here. Some got promoted and are now sitting pretty at the top. What they all have in common is that they worked hard to get it and are working hard to keep it. Some were lucky in the sense that they were in the right place at the right time, but that’s it. They all worked their asses off. They spent YEARS cultivating relationships, learning what they want to be doing, they soaked in everything they could get, sought out what they needed. Don’t tell someone they’re lucky to work where they do, or that they’re so lucky to have an opportunity. 99% of the time, they got it themselves. I know the son of a successful producer and while he may have gotten the job because of his dad, he works damn hard to get out from under that shadow, probably working harder to prove that he’s not just another case of nepotism (ugh).

When most of you come out here, you’ll need to get a day job. Probably something part-time in retail or food service, and it’s gonna suck. You’re gonna meet other people in your shoes and definitely those who tread before you, still taking on the grind. Don’t become one of those people who can bring you down with their failed dreams. They’re cynical, they’re depressing, they’re poison. They may be good people, but don’t let their attitude, no matter how shallow or how profound, get to you. Be optimistic, find silver linings, be strong. If you’re not, this industry can destroy you. You may never make it, by no fault of your own or even by your own fault, but so long as you can keep a bright attitude, you won’t die a failure.

In your day job, take the time to meet with people and explore yourself (as a professional, ahem). I’ll admit I’m jealous of the people I know who have part-time jobs and have time to be bored and maybe miserable. As busy as I am, I always wish I had more time. I wish I had more than one hour a day for free time, but that automatically goes to drawing homework. With a day-job, see how flexible they are in scheduling and develop a rapport with the other bring young things to cover your shifts you have to drop suddenly because you’re gonna go work for no pay on a friend’s short and you can take their shifts when they need to audition or work for no pay on a friend’s short. DO NOT SQUANDER THIS TIME. Eventually you’ll get cynical, angry or depressed, but right now, LA is so fresh and new, take advantage of it. In the afternoons leading up to your shift at the pizzeria or the evenings after a day at the bookstore, unwind and watch a movie or catch up on your DVR. It’s your job to know what work is out there. Be a stereotype and sit at a coffee shop with your laptop and type out that screenplay; who cares if you look like a cliche? At my bookstore, we have several people writing the screenplays, one of whom sold the screenplay to Warner Bros. and is going to be a tent-pole next year. You CAN make your own work, whatever department you’re in. It may not happen immediately, but plan out what you need to do to make it happen. As someone who naturally falls into the PM/AD department, I should have asked my writer friends if they were interested or would let me get the paperwork going for their web series/short/feature. It could motivate them to actually get the thing produced. Or it could just be that much more experience under your belt. Keep that production binder. If you’re a sound guy, save up some money to either buy or rent equipment and try to put together some sound design for someone’s project. Or make stock sound clips and sell them for cheap to students or low-no budgets.

Benjamin Franklin said, “God helps those who help themselves,” and that has been the story of my life. When I knew I wanted to work in entertainment but was graduating with a photography degree, I taught myself almost everything. Well, when I say “taught,” I really mean I had to look for what I needed to know. I determined what electives I could take without the pre-reqs, weasled my way into classes that did require them and Googled the hell out of this industry. Every day after school, I would find more blogs and websites. A lot of them stop abruptly, a good chunk of them are still going. I read them all, and still follow them. My blogroll is filled with industry blogs: The Anonymous Production Assistant of course, a dolly grip, an electric, camera assistant, writers, people still in college, a script supervisor, everyone I can find. And I learned so much. I looked up walkie etiquette and vernacular, I looked up what a call sheet should look like, I learned how ass-backwards how accountants calculate paychecks.My alma mater and a lot of other schools don’t teach you this. This used to piss me off and led me to create a Facebook group to help distribute this information. But now, that anger has quelled and I realized that you don’t need to pay for that information. I found it all on my own. Do you really want to pay $80,000 so you know how to use walkie-speak? No. You’re paying to learn a specific craft, to get insight from someone who hopefully knows what s/he is talking about. I’m not saying school is useless, it’s a great and safe environment to explore yourself as a pre-professional and I loved school. But no one is going to fork over everything. Learn to be self-suficient. Don’t be lazy. Don’t be entitled.

I can’t help but have a little headdesk moment when someone asks a question that can be answered if they dug just a little bit deeper, if they thought a little bit longer. I have a long list of blogs I read up in the Facebook group, I write some “lessons” here every once in a while. But when you don’t even know the career path or hierarchy for your specific department, I can’t help but roll my eyes. It’s not a good impression to make for yourself. No one wants to have to babysit or handhold. In informational interviews, which you should really be calling “meeting up for coffee” or “going out to lunch,” you should be asking intelligent questions. Not “What is it that you do? What do you like or dislike?” No. Ask them specific questions that you can’t seem to find or get their opinions on something you read about what they do. Don’t go to lunch with a camera assistant and ask them about AD-ing. Maybe ask them what they like in an AD, but don’t ask them how to make or read a call sheet, how to manage PAs or how to get a job. Ask them what the biggest lessons they’ve learned about themselves or about their job. Those are specific, they are personal, they are educational. Everyone has a story, a little bit of wisdom that you absolutely must ingest. My favorites are when I run into a friendly grip or some other typically surly person that when they ask what I want to do, producing, they say, “Don’t be a producer. You’re too nice to be one.” I take that to mean, “They’re dicks, don’t be a dick.” Is it twisting what they meant? Probably. But it helps reinforce that wherever I go in this industry, I don’t want to get there by being a dick.
And last but not least, always always always thank people. If you constantly read someone’s blog, be sure to participate and make a comment or thank them for a post that made you think or gave you something, or just to let them know they have a reader. It may help them think of future posts that may be more relevant to you and you might make a new contact (ahem, I’m just sayin’ that I have a few dozen readers but I don’t know who any of you are). When you do a lunch or coffee with someone, thank them. You bought them that coffee or lunch, right? And then later that night you send them a thank you email and keep in touch once in a while, yes? I love getting cold emails from people, asking for my opinion or advice. It makes me so happy and honored that someone sought me out. But when I don’t get an email back saying “thank you” or at least acknowledging you even got the damn email, that’s when I think either I completely freaked you out or you don’t care. Anyone who meets or talks with you is expending time and energy. For YOU. Thank them. Don’t be a dick.
Oh, and don’t ask, “What’s your opinion or advice about moving to LA?” That’s too broad of a question and either the person won’t get back to you because it’s a naive, shallow and unspecific. Or if they’re like me, I’ll annoy you until you ask me something specific or I’ll send you an email as long as this blog post. Those emails, I don’t enjoy.
Coming up later this summer, I’ll write about my process when PMing and ADing and how co-directing the pilot was.

 

Cheers to summer!

Die Another Day

My 3-year anniversary of living in LA was this past Saturday, on the 17th.
I spent the day watching movies-in-theaters with St. Louis friends and noshed on Bread Co. (Panera to you Cali-folk; which, by the way, originates in St. Louis) and California rolls. The food thing was totally unintentional but poetic. I’m starting to realize that I’m starting to settle into Los Angeles. I might even start to be calling it home now. The affection that the word home inspires does not apply, though. But more so a begrudging acceptance that I am here and will be here here for a potentially long, long time. That’s progress.

My first year, I was on an overnight shoot for a low-budget indie musical that as far as I know, caught a glimpse of the light of day and quickly dissipated. Last year, I was PA-ing on a game show… which one? Uh.. I think the dancing one. This year, I’m hidden in an office.

An office that I now realize is suffocating my soul.

My first issue is that I feel so disconnected with the industry. I have no idea what’s going on. But by golly, I can tell you when new episodes of a cable reality show is going to premiere. I don’t know what shows exist, I don’t know what movies are in production, I’m on the outskirts. I’ve told people that I felt like I didn’t really have my foot in Hollywood’s door, but was more of the dog they kept tethered in the backyard, that they brought it when it rained. But now I feel like I’m a door-to-door salesman. If I can get anyone to open their door for me, I’m immediately shut out before I can make a case for myself.

Second issue is I’m having difficulties working with some personalities and my tasks make me want to impale myself. Last Monday, I’ll admit, I broke down in the bathroom. I was given some Photoshop files that had a hodge-podge of photos used as reference for art direction and it looked like magazine cut outs that were pasted onto poster board that you would do for a project in the 3rd grade. I was told to make it neater, move some things around and make it coherent. Okay! No problem. I take a few hours to get it as neat as I could, considered how the eye is going to travel across the page, use everything I knew from my visual communication class and from doing layout on the school magazine. I have the person in charge to take a look at it and I’m met with, “I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO REARRANGE IT. GO BACK TO THE ORIGINAL.” And this person proceeded to draw crude examples of what s/he wanted, which ended up looking like magazine cut outs pasted onto poster board you would make in… oh let’s graduate up to the 7th grade. I was disgusted, I was livid, I was broken. Disgusted because if I were a client and I were to see this, I would wonder why the fuck am I trusting my brand with this person (also, this person spits when s/he talks and it was getting all over my hair and arms)? Livid because I wasted all of that time and the way this person speaks not only to me, but to everyone, is INCREDIBLY condescending. I can usually work with unsavory personalities but when it’s coupled with feeling like everything I learned and know is invalid, it’s unbearable. I paid money and spent years to know how to do this. But that doesn’t matter where I am. It was a terrible, terrible day.

Thirdly, still, it’s so far removed from what I want to do. The closest I get to production is making their pre-production books. I don’t see a call sheet, I don’t call vendors, I don’t do runs. I just sit in this office, answering the phone, and refill the paper towel dispenser. It’s depressing. Nothing to report when people ask me how work is going. Nothing to be proud about. And I try, so hard, to be proud about the things I do, even if it’s not what I want to do. At the bookstore, I felt a twinge of pride when I helped a regular customer, a very bright and wonderful nine year old girl, graduate from children’s literature to teen novels. As a PA I can be proud for the small things I did that made me feel like I saved the day. For the times I helped my coordinator, PM or a producer avoid a headache. Those moments make the drudgery worth it.

I’ve also noticed I’m spending A LOT more money than I should be. If you were to look at my bank account, it’s basically unchanged since I started this job three months ago. Where has all my money gone? Well, I took on a few new bills like the grown-up I am (I pay my own cell phone bill now, whoa!). But mostly, I’ve been shopping. I saw The Book of Mormon. I’m enrolled in my drawing classes that start soon. I bought early tickets to CTN Animation Expo. Those are cool in my book because those are experiences I didn’t get to have with my wayward paychecks previously. I personally and professionally benefit from those. But there are so many Target and H&M charges. I buy clothes for the little scenarios I have in my head for when I’m happy. For a night out that I don’t have planned but might have at some point, I should have a dress for that. I definitely need these sandals for when I’m out and about at the beach (which I don’t even go to). I’m buying experiences and things that’ll make me forget that my job is ruining me. Clothes that’ll sit in my closet because they’re a promise to myself that life will be better. Experiences for me to look forward to, to get me through the work week. It’s a bad habit that I acknowledge and plan on curbing once June is over (after all, I have a birthday party and another trip to San Francisco to fund).

I’ll admit I’m actively looking for a new job. But not just any ol’ job. I don’t plan on going back to being an extra because the money is so unreliable and it’s the slow season anyways. But my resume is gonna start peppering the animation industry. When hiatus is over and if a scripted show, somehow, asks me to PA, I’m on it. I explained what’s happening to my parents and thankfully, they’re supportive of me finding a new job. (Well, mostly because I focus on telling them about how condescending people can be, because my internal struggles are nothing compared to theirs.)

I have a policy where I’m not allowed to talk about this job past 8pm on weekdays, and not at all on weekends unless someone asks. I’ll tell them what’s going on, explain my policy, and with an understanding nod, we move on from the subject. I’m chronically late to this job because when that alarm goes off in the morning, I can’t bring myself to get out of bed, knowing the next 10 hours of my life will be feeling like my guts are melting and crystallizing into sabers that pierce my very core. If there’s such thing as a soul, I feel it now, and it hurts. I thought the pain I went through on the days where I thought I would never amount to anything would be the worst thing I could feel about my career, but this is a whole new level. I know it’s not the bottom, I am thankful, and I will work so that I never have to go there.

• • •

In the days since I wrote this post as a draft and finally had time to edit it, I got blessed with some fun work from friends. One started off as an innocent script pitch which turned into a pseudo-script doctoring which is now gonna be a story I board for my portfolio (the creators are going with their original idea, sans our suggestions) and I’m helping out on a friend’s web series. I know last year I swore I wouldn’t be doing an indie side project with a full-time job but this is what’s keeping me going with the bleakness I’ve been stewing in. It’s a welcome stressor.

S.O.S.
Save my soul.